I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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