JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
