Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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