That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
