the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
