At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
