Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
