just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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