I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
