Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I need moral support for this bender
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
