D3 body, D1 cock
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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