you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Boobs speak an international language.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
