thus making me awesome and them whores
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
sick fucks of a feather flock together
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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