Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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