we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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