if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Less talking, more tequila
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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