Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
