so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
