my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
