32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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