I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
