She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
