My room smells like vodka and shame
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
they need to just BURY HIM!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
