i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
