worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
