Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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