And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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