How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
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