i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
