I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
