i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
