I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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