I'm so fucking centered right now
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Never underestimate the power of titties
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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