Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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