I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
