but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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