just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
