I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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