I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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