is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
