I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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