I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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