Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
