Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
