There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
