Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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