He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
