just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
