my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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