If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
