You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
