I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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