I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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