I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
