how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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