im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
