and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
