he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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