alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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