can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize