i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
