Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
