So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
40s are totally the cure
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
