He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
