It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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