Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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