It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
